UGH. i hate being sick. not only do i feel like shit, but i can't make simfiles worth a fuck. but why am i feeling good? because recently I got a hold of the full version of HALCALI's full version of "Long Kiss Goodbye", which is the 7th ending of Naruto: Shippuuden. :3 As sick as I am, I know i shouldn't have done it, but i went ahead and did a simfile for it, and from what I can tell, I'm the first person in this place to get a hold of the full version AND make a simfile, which means I WAS HERE FIRST AND ALL YOU LITTLE PUNKS WERNT! :D woot.

-peace.

... will this depression ever end? for the past month i've been feeling like shit... i'm never happy, i've had a fucking gun pointed at my head, with the weilder telling me that i was a worthless piece of garbage.. i've had people try to make it feel better, when all they are doing is making it worse... god damnit, i just want to fucking be happy for once.. will.. will i ever be able to acquire the happy good feeling that i long so desire?

shit. i really need to find someone to help cheer my fat, sorry excuse for a person up.. because the way it's going, it's gonna be another depressive week..

sometimes.. i wish the bullet wouldn't have missed a year ago.

wow.. to think this day couldn't get any more pathetic, it's my 3 year ani on here.. and I'm gonna end up spending it wishing I was off the face of the earth. :( usually.. you'd think someone who's spent a good deal of time on FFR would be excited for 3 years. well haha.. I spent the last 3 years just trying to find who I was, and I've found nothing. I've been wondering why I still fail at life.. and I guess I'll continue to wonder.
haha.. I really do fail.

edit: I wonder how many people will remember that today's my 3 year.

...like.. i don't know what i'm doing wrong.. maybe it's because i fail at life or maybe it's because i just fail.. but every time i try to find that happiness i've been longing for, someone has to come around, fuck it all up, and at the end i'm back where i started.. bloging about my stupid problems that no one is gonna read.. trying to find some one to listen to them, hoping that i'll be able to find the light and get outta this fucking depression.. they say that the number one thing a person can do when he or she is depressed is lean on their friends for comfort and support... it's kinda hard to do that when you've not only not had a single friend your entire life, but it's also hard when you feel rejected from every group of people you know, because of how you think, what you say, what you do, etcetcetc.. it really makes me sit back and look at just how miserable and pathetic i really am.
some people say that i should just put a bullet in my skull and call it a fucked up life.. some say i should just..bah.. why does it matter anymore? haha... god i suck.