Will be back in mid-July

There is, within the vast expanse that is the Internet, a cozy little place called the FFR Brag Board. It is a pleasurable land, with plenty of sunshine, mountains, and fresh air, not to mention the occasional StepMania shower or FFRderstorm. There is an easygoing yet subtly sardonic culture of posting that many people experience, though few are truly familiar with it. For a long time, peace was the nectar of prosperity, and harmony the fabric of coexistence. All was well. But then, on the tragic day of April 22, 2008, ieatyourlvllol and a number of his comrades were struck down by an enforcer of the FFR Z(FAT) [short for the FFR Zero Facilitation, Zero Accommodation, Zero Tolerance] Policy. This officer must have been new, ieatyourlvllol supposed, for he did not seem to fully understand the conventions of the board-exclusive communication protocol set around the sector know as the Brag Board. Though he was quite fast, ieat did not get the chance to take note of the wielder of the banhammer, for the assailant struck during the hour of ieat’s deepest slumber. Oh, the ignominy! Nonetheless, the portal to the realm of the banned invariably opened, and on the verge of his forceful transportation thereto, ieat, straining his body as he maintained his presence within the FFRverse, received the slightest impression of a maple leaf. How peculiar, he thought, as the dimensional rift sapped the last of his strength and his spirit was thrown into a void. All went black. Before long, ieat began to regain consciousness of his surroundings, and he noticed that everything appeared exactly the same as before. But wait! There was something horribly wrong! No! It couldn’t be! The entrance into the forums…IT WAS GONE!!! ieat searched frantically for a way back into the heart of FFRvilization, but his efforts proved fruitless. He weighed his options. There were always his alternate identities, though only the most recent was of any real value. Problems would inherently arise, of course, especially since he would have to explain how he had seemingly undergone spontaneous transformation into a stuffed replica of a chondrichthian. Rather reluctant to compromise himself in such a manner, ieat tossed that particular solution out. Now he was left with but one other means of escape – the mirrorlinks. In this era, the art of portal magic was widespread and thus easy to learn. It was even more effortless to cast; all it took was a keyphrase and the motion of a few digits. There was still another problem; ieat detested the evasion of justice, regardless of how unwarranted it was. He now had to make a crucial decision – he could either flout the rules set forth by the FFRistocracy and forever live with the guilt of knowing he had betrayed his ethical integrity, or he could wait it out, knowing that his troubles would fade with the inexorable onset of time. ieat made his decision. With a sigh of resignation, he treaded back to his residence, a cave in the middle of Mount Sirius, right next to the SM Scores Clubhouse and the cetaka Stepgrove. The weather didn’t do much to improve his mood – it was cloudy, with a one-hundred percent chance of apathy. Back in the cave, ieat stretched and yawned lengthily, preparing to spend the rest of his wait asleep. And just before he drifted off into dreams of Minitaka Volume 100 and GLoVE StepMania Gym 2, he chanced to take one final look around. There, on one of the cavern walls, hung a placard. Plastered in the stark whiteness of its background was a large black question mark. The contrast of the monochrome was almost painful. To top it all off, underneath was a caption with the word “Banned” neatly printed in bright red letters. ieat regarded the sign with distaste. “Hmm,” he said, searching for an appropriate response. “STEPMANIA IS PRETTY SERIOUS.”

pretty serious

doot